Everyone should read Never Split the Difference. There is no negotiating about it. However, that is exactly what former FBI hostage-negotiation, Chris Voss, discusses in his self-help book. Voss introduces us to an empathy-based approach that some of us do unconsciously; forming a connection, a rapport with the person we’re reasoning with. Still others take an old-school I’m-right-and-you’re-wrong approach. Through Never Split the Difference, we discover how negotiating can be applied to our everyday life and dispels the idea that these encounters have to be confrontational.

Concepts such as labeling (identifying and labeling your counterpart’s emotions), mirroring (repeating back their words), and tactical empathy (empathizing to build rapport) are just some of the strategies presented to readers. We also delve into why we shouldn’t aspire for an immediate “Yes” and why the phrase “You’re Right” can indicate underlying problems.

With clear, concise language and real-life examples, Never Split the Difference makes itself accessible for all people and ages. Different ideas and theories are split (no pun intended) into many chapters, each building on one another. I found myself losing the book towards the end, reading the last chapter or two more as an impulsive need to finish what I started rather than the fact that I had to know what happens next. Voss should also be weary of over-promising his strategies. It’s as if he must repeatedly prove his book is worth your time. However, it does hold its own. Beyond just being a guide to negotiation, at its core, Never Split the Difference is about building trust, nurturing empathy, and helping both sides get what they want. For that, it is a lesson we should all strive to learn.